Saturday, August 8, 2015

That Frantic Feeling

It's the first week of what i could call "real life" here in the U.S., and it feels like real life has hit hard. It's not so much anything in particular.
Te extra├▒o, Nicaraguita.

It's more of a feeling that i can't quite describe. Like everyone here is frantic to get to the next thing, to get something else done or fit into their lives. Like my kid all of a sudden wants expensive things and asks for them every morning when she wakes up. It's like everyone is wanting things they don't have and they're desperately scrabbling to get them.

I'm not used to all this. I haven't cleaned my own toilets in a year nor taken out the trash nor worried about money nor been worried about keeping up. Living in the second-poorest country in the Western Hemisphere, i was kept up. Now i'm back to being in the back-middle of the pack.

This has me thinking all sorts of desperate thoughts like maybe i should scrap this freelance thing and go get a job, or maybe i should find a boyfriend to take me out to all the restaurants i've missed out on. It's true that i'm feeling that frantic desperate unsatisfied feeling that i haven't felt in a long time, and i don't like it.


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