Sunday, April 26, 2009

Boyfriends: how young is too young?

I walked into the kiddo's preschool the other day and three of the girls (including mine) were teaming up on the new boy named Elijah. They were all taking turns kissing him while he ping-ponged between them, looking like he was hoping to bounce out of their giggly circle.

The first crush has come earlier than i had hoped, but should i be all that surprised?

Then today, it just so happens that my sister reminded me about my own sordid past with boys. She told me my five-year old daughter had passed on the story of kissing Elijah by putting her hands on her own face, rolling her eyes, and breathlessly spouting "I can't believe I'm telling you this," like she's already some tween who swoons at the thought of her crush.

"Like mother like daughter," my sister said, while her husband yelled from the background, "Quit kissing boys in front of your kid!" But i assure you, this single mama is most discrete.

What's even more scary is that it might really just be in her genes to do that stuff, with little prompting in my present life:

Danny White was my kindergarten crush. He had sandy-blond hair and ripped jeans and shared his name with a Dallas Cowboy. I followed him around the kindergarten, even though he made a "yuck" face every time i got too close.

Then there was Brian Hagler, my spiky-haired sixth grade boyfriend who hauled his fourth-grade brother out for a double date with my third-grade sister. (Uhhh, don't know how our parents sanctioned this...) After a movie Brian and i escaped to the apartment stairwell, where fourth-grade brother and third-grade sister caught us in the throes of our first kiss. My sister will never let me forget it.

Then there was Andre, who stole a cubic zirconium ring from his mom to give to me. When i eventually broke things off with him, he threw a kickball into my face and there had to be a parental sit-down at school.

My sis and i were laughing our heads off today about all this business, but you can see where patterns begin at a young age, that could be repeated into adulthood. So should i be doing more to ensure she doesn't get too boy crazy?

Suggestions, please. If these first mental encounters with boys are any indication, i am not much of the ideal study.


Canadian Bald Guy said...

Wow...I hadn't even thought of kindergarten crushes.

Thankfully, my daughter didn't even like to wear pink until this past year (she's 10 now) up 'til now boys haven't even been a concern.

I really don't remember my kindergarten all. So my guess would be that how she interacts with dating boys later on probably doesn't have a lot to do with what she's doing now.

But that's just my uneducated guess.

by Nicole Vulcan said...

I wonder about this. A lot. As single parents, our kids see us dating and think this revolving door is the norm. (Though i do try to keep my dates from meeting for at least a little while -- though this last time was an exception) Unlike me, who was boy crazy and lived in a two-parent home, my daughter is boy crazy and sees her mama doing the same. So maybe i should tone it down?

Geez, i hardly date as it is...

April said...

My youngest daughter had a boyfriend in kindergarten. She's in 3rd grade now and hasn't expressed the slightest interest in boys since! My 6th grader had a boyfriend for almost a week at the end of 5th grade that got her in trouble, so she ended the relationship and also hasn't expressed an interest since the 'heartbreak.'
See if there's a pattern, and then worry!

by Nicole Vulcan said...

You're right. So far, no pattern... just my own goofy past...