Saturday, December 27, 2008

After Party

The big holiday of the year has come and gone,
Barack Obama is sunning himself in Hawaii ahead of his big inauguration,
and people in the Pacific Northwest are delighting in the trusty sound of splashing water, instead of boots crunching on snow.

It's been an overwhelming month or so, and i'm feeling a bit of the after party blues. What do i lament upon -- if i'm not worried about the future of our nation (as if all our problems are solved by Obama...), or making sure my daughter has a true understaning of holiday traditions, or making sure i get to work through the snow?

We have spent our recent days making overly sweet cookies, rolling up a jolly snowman, making snow angels, wrapping gifts, starting a holiday tradition of going to the theatre, cuddling up with hot chocolate, and working through the snow storm... all the fun things you do when you have a kid and it's the holidays. Even if you are more of a naysayer than a joiner. But now... what?

My daughter has a saying that comes out from time to time, which this overly-protective mother does not want to admit is what she says when she is feeling a bit depressed. She never says it in the summer, but i still don't want to admit that she may be feeling some seasonal depression. A five year old, sad?!? Once in a while she'll come out and say "Mama, i just don't feel like doing anything." Usually when it happens i will suggest a couple fun things she can do. If that doesn't work, i will just scoop her up in my arms and declare it's time for a cuddle session. Then the sad five year old doesn't have to "feel like Doing anything" -- she can just Feel. I take her to my room, we lie down on the bed, and i stroke her hair...

When she's old and this mama is replaced by the ones she chooses to spend life with, i hope she can say to them, "my love, i just don't feel like doing anything..." And i hope they will respond by scooping her up, taking her into their room, and stroking her blonde hair...

Can you tell that's what i wish someone would do to me right now?

"Life, i just don't feel like doing anything..."

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